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I am better than you.

Ricey is hereby warrantied against any defects, real
or imaginary, until such time as this sentence is read by the
consumer, at which point the warranty shall be void.

Possible side effects of reading anything I write include, but are
not limited to: Headache, upset stomach, dry mouth, fatigue,
nausea, abdominal pain, swollen extremities, diarrhea, vomiting,
chills, high fever, hives, flesh-eating strep infections,
temporary and/or permanent blindness, bone dislocations, stroke,
the condition known as "hot dog finger," liver damage, paralysis,
heart disease, kidney failure, death, and possession by the
Prince of Darkness. Similar side effects were experienced by
patients taking sugar pill.

Anything I write may not be downloaded, uploaded, reloaded,
unloaded, overloaded, altered, mutilated, opened, closed,
or read without the express written consent of the
Commissioner of Major League Baseball, the Dalai Lama, and no
fewer than five (5) justices of the United States Supreme
Court. Any violation of this will result in hordes of various
lawyers holding hearings on the subject until everybody involved
is dead. DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAG UNDER PENALTY OF LAW.

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